text from last night

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

prolly the greatest site in the world

im sure you have all heard of it

this post is to post your fav texts you have read



mine--"my mom just sent me to the store to buy a single zuchini, i feel like a poor person who cant afford a dildo"

[Rage]

prolly the greatest site in the world

im sure you have all heard of it

this post is to post your fav texts you have read



mine--"my mom just sent me to the store to buy a single zuchini, i feel like a poor person who cant afford a dildo"



lmfao

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

the web site is textsfromlastnight.com

its a site where you post funny txts on the internet for people to rate and comment on haha

[XxMastagunzxX]

I read it frequently.

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

whats your fav one, haha

i just read this one

"can boys be half circumsized? cause im not entirly sure whAT IM LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW"

[acolyte_to_jippity]

whats your fav one, haha

i just read this one

"can boys be half circumsized? cause im not entirly sure whAT IM LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW"

...when she starts texting, it's time to leave.

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

LOLOLOL

he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.

[loka]

my favorite ones come from the boston ones
(781):

I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
_____
(617):

i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
(781):

dont be selfish, show some boob

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

hahahahahahahaha perfcect

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.


so andrew was saying you lost your virginity to me!?!

define virginity...

[XxMastagunzxX]

(828):

Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.


(828):

Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.

--------------------------------

(336):

do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
(828):

how high are you?

---------------------------------


(828):

Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.




(828):

You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up




(828):

Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.





(828):

There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
(402):

Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
(402):

The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"







(828):

proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.






(704):

see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it






(704):

she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"









(704):

I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow







(704):

My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college






(704):

"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.







(704):

I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?






(704):

You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"






(704):

I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.





(704):

One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+






(704):

ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'







(704):

i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
(1-704):

hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god










(704):

I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
(803):

Genius.








(704):

I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is






(704):

you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks






(704):

I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel

[StarsMine]

(828):

proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.

Cant say i have never done that before :headache:

[XxMastagunzxX]

I've almost wrecked a few times from looking at women out my window while driving!!!! :lmao:

[acolyte_to_jippity]

I've almost wrecked a few times from looking at women out my window while driving!!!! :lmao:

set up a camera pointing at your rear-view. problem solved :thumb up:

[XxMastagunzxX]

set up a camera pointing at your rear-view. problem solved :thumb up:

Why would I have it in my rear view mirror?

[acolyte_to_jippity]

Why would I have it in my rear view mirror?

side view then. that's what i meant. that way, you can take the pic while continueing to drive, you hit the button as you drive past.

[anex]

My favorite one is what my dad sent me one night.

"A blond just sent me a text asking 'What does idk , mean?' I replied "I don't know.' She replied back with "Omg no one knows!!"

[acolyte_to_jippity]

My favorite one is what my dad sent me one night.

"A blond just sent me a text asking 'What does idk , mean?' I replied "I don't know.' She replied back with "Omg no one knows!!"

that's an old-ish joke.

i first saw it at failbooking.com

[anex]

Aww and here I am trying to pass it off as new. :(

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

heres a drunk text i got from a random number the other night

"so how much do you charge an hour? you know for phone sex?"

me- "uhhh... well hello (;"



HAHAHA it made my week

[loka]

heres a drunk text i got from a random number the other night

"so how much do you charge an hour? you know for phone sex?"

me- "uhhh... well hello (;"



HAHAHA it made my week

sorry that was me.

[Rapedollar$]

lol loka. always fucking with the straight men....

where is my love?

i always knew deep down you wanted the kack!

jk <3

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

Welll welllll loka, i knew IT HA! caught red handed.

(;

[loka]

lol loka. always fucking with the straight men....

where is my love?

i always knew deep down you wanted the kack!

jk <3

haha! no shame in joking :P


Welll welllll loka, i knew IT HA! caught red handed.

(;
lol! i do have your number afterall lol

[Nemesis]

(571):
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave

(703):
and miss being on the news....no way

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

hahaha this is very true (; hahahahaa


and BAHAHAHAHAHA im with the guy whom said niss being on news lOL