Wolfenstung
Originally Posted by
Wolfenstinger
Shoot me in the face. And when you do, say "FUCK YOU WOLF, STAY DEAD YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE!"
This. Repeatedly. Don't worry if it doesn't feel that heartfelt the first few times you yell profanities at a wolfenstinger, because it will become natural over time. Due to the way the game engine was programmed, the same pecularities of Valve's virtual physics that allow players to run ten times as fast if they jump when they touch the ground and strafe from side to side (i.e. bunny hopping) will cause a wolfenstinger to be preferentially revived or respawned by teammates. If you and a friend are playng a two-on-two against a wolfenstinger and a level 1 reviver, it's basically at least a two-on-five because you''ll have to kill the wolfenstinger about 4 times per round.
It's a good idea to camp the dead bodies of wolfenstingers because they have the uncanny habit of returning to life as many times as necessary to kill you. Revivals typically happen within 2-8 seconds after death at the spot of death. The most successful tactic is to empty a few clips into the dead body of a wolfenstinger, making sure to mix it up with the occasional flashbang or smoke grenade tossed to keep the corpse guessing. But even that is no guarantee against a wolfenstinger, which can die as a succubus hunter and then revive as a shadow hunter two seconds later to rape everyone camping its body, or scroll as a vagalion and thrust a knife into your back before you can even finish typing "FUCK YOU WOLF, STAY DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" And don't believe for a second that wolfenstingers are limited to two scrolls per life either, just because the MSRP on scrolls is $7500. Wolfenstingers have close ties to the WCS black market, where scrolls can be bought for a grand and change. And if you ever see a wolfenstinger of the OP genocide whore strain, don't even bother trying to kill it because it's GG--a genocide wolfenstinger can basically revive itself in advance whenever it wants to, wherever it wants to, and it won't stop coming back for you until you're dead. The sheer number and diversity of methods of revival available to a wolfenstinger mean you never know what to expect, other than eventual death.
After playing against wolfenstingers for a while and seeing just how easily an 8 inch blade cuts through the human spinal cord, you may develop a real-life paranoia of open spaces and white puffy clouds. This condition must be treated immediately and aggressively and immediately, or else it will deteriorate into an invariably fatal mental disorder called "wolfenstung," which is characterized by indicators that are decidedly rat-like: walking along walls and fences to minimize feelings of insecurity, sleeping only in sheltered areas such as closets and caves, and a dramatic elongation of the tail bone. Wolfenstung actually feeds on the host after irreversibly taking over the host's psyche, making him fear stepping outside so much that becomes incapable of seeking treatment at a hospital. By the time you finally notice that all your teeth except the 4 central incisors have curiously fallen out and your hair has greyed to the shade of a lab rat, it's too late. You're not your human self anymore. You've been internally--and to a lesser extent, externally--transformed into a rodent. The disease and its manifestations kill 80% of patients within six months after the initial diagnosis. The other 20% opt to end their misery sooner by committing suicide.
Last edited by i2o4; 06-19-2013 at 08:45 AM.
Reason: epic lols
One man's ceiling is another man's floor.
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