1) Nobody should have TAUGHT you anything. You should have known the RULES yourself. Learn how to read. I don't make up rules, I adapt to "societal norms," something which you seem to have a hard time doing.
2) You wish.
3) Wrong. I'm probably the best listener you've conversed with in your entire life. I may also be gullible, but eventually I put the puzzle together.
4) Please, tell me when I sucked anyone's dick Ms. pathological liar. Nice work making shit up. (PS. Lying doesn't look good on your track record; then again, you can't really say much about your track record.)
5) The times that I *did* in fact abuse, it was minor, and if I was wrong, I would confess and apologize. Of course no human is perfect, and I was perfectly OK with admitting so.