Pix or gtfo!
grow some balls and drop afew hundred on the spy-kit I saw on the internet, extend your vacation by 2-6wks and then go in with your supersmall, high quality camera that has an infrared flash so it's not visible to ppl and go to town. Dont go to sleep that night, get home, upload the pictures, photoshop them a bit for max quality and finally post them in an order that is sensible, entertaining and quirky.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TOO ASK?!
If the bouncers catch you....your face will hurt afterwards.