Hi, I don’t normally tend to visit this section of the forums because I feel guilty with ever I look here. I feel guilty because I know I lied, not to some random people on the internet but people I would call friends, not the kind of friend you only see at work or school but the kind you would hang out with outside of work or school.

For starters I can guess most people feel like I lied about my age, and I did... I stick of tired of it too. I tired of pretending to be little, trying not to stay up late and deciding what would a child know and wouldn't know. I'm 19 years old.

Recently I stop using a mic people that are more new never heard me speak because that was my first try at re defining my age to not be a child anymore and yes it was a voice changer, I didn’t use to it to trick people to think that I'm young but I will explain more as I go along with this introduction of the real me.

I do not want to say I’m a guy because thats not how I feel, but I know I’m not yet a woman. I have what called GID (Gender Identification Disorder) I’m think I’m suppose to be a girl when I lack parts of one and have male parts. I know it’s fucked up; it’s weird its whatever but it’s what I am. I not here for jokes or for the lulz this is me being very real with people that I call friends. I do try to make myself look girly on my free time, and when I’m alone I dress up as a girl.

I not fully open with myself I’m still working on myself before I ask for hormones. I kinda want to start during the spring or the summer and I’m talking to my doctor about it. Now back on topic about the voice changer like I said I didn’t use it to sound young I used it to sound like a girl I stopped using it after a member knew that I’m lying about my age and had the wrong idea about it so then I started to use text and I found out I got much more benefit out of it then using the mic. Even though admining through text can be stressful at times lol.
I would like to be viewed as a girl, since that’s how I do truly feel. But I can understand why some people might not view me as that. I still want to be a part of the IBIS community since I know great people in there that I enjoy playing CSS with. I’m sorry that I lied I never thought I would be this attached to everyone I tried leaving once but I ended up coming back and I would like to stay.