Post a joke

[walterbrunswick]

Two guys walk into a bar... you think one of them would see it!

~Rogue

[ChronicVT]

REDNECK LOGIC

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"

[Jeimuzu]

[DeadEyeDeNNi$]

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be
married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The
conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex
lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in
some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes. Sipping her
drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the
work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When
all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was
a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so
aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and
there!'
The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story!
When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him
in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He
was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up
our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of
planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at
Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best
perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt,
black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black
mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the
remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?

[XxMastagunzxX]

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be
married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The
conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex
lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in
some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes. Sipping her
drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the
work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When
all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was
a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so
aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and
there!'
The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story!
When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him
in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He
was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up
our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of
planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at
Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best
perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt,
black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black
mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the
remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?

that was a good one

[ChronicVT]

Sunday school teacher is discussing with her students about God and the Heavens. "When you think of Heaven," asks the teacher. "what do you think gets to heaven first?" She points to a young girl in the group named Amanda. Amanda put her hands together as if to pray and said, "My hands, cause they are closest to the Lord." "Good answer." smiled the teacher. "And you, Frankie?". Frankie thought for a second and blurted out, "My eyes, cause it's the first thing to see his Holiness!" "Not bad, Frankie, not bad. And let's see, Mellisa? What would you say is the first thing to get to Heaven?" Mellisa pauses a brief moment and replies, "My heart, because it is already there." "Beautiful answer." beams the teacher. Looking around she then point out Johnie. "Johnie, can you enlighten the class with your brilliance?" Johnie wasted no time yelling out "My Feet!". The teacher was taken back, "Johnie explain your self this instant." "Well," said Johnie. "I was walking past my parents room, and my mom had her feet in the air, yelling 'Oh Lord I'm coming, Oh Lord I'm coming!'" Teacher was floored but before she could get a word in edge wise Johnie finished, "But don't worry she didn't leave, Daddy was holding her down!"

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

Would you like a life cookie? *holds hand out*

YES i would

well to bad no one cares!



my friend Theorys joke for skinny people

"hey you got any barbaque sauce for those ribs *points at skinny person*"

[Jeimuzu]

Here is something if your bored. I read it awhile back.

[ChronicVT]

Three preachers were out on the lake. First one stands up and said, "By the act of God, we forgot the picnic basket." So he stands up, steps out of the boat, tip toes across the water to shore, picks up the basket, tip toes back to the boat, and sits down in the boat. Second one stands up and sez, "By the act of God, we forgot the wine." So he stands up, steps out of the boat, tip toes across the water to shore, picks up the wine, tip toes back to the boat, and sits down in the boat. Third one stands up and sez, "By the act of God, we forgot our bibles." So he stands up steps off the boat and sinks. The second preacher asked the first preacher, "Think we should tell him where the rocks are?"

~Rogue

[ChronicVT]

Here is something if your bored. I read it awhile back.

HOLY SHIT!!!!!

~Chronic