Words of Advice

[ChronicVT]

~*~ Nothing is illegal, until you get caught!

~*~ Everything is fun and games, until someone loses an eye... then it is friggin' hilarious!

~*~ A blind man pissing in the wind will always have it come back to him in the end.

~*~ Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it.

~*~ The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

~*~ It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but equally true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

~*~ Women are know it alls, men know all about women

~*~ Never take life seriously, nobody gets out of it alive.

~*~ You laugh because I'm different... I laugh cause I just farted!

~*~ Masterbating does not lead to blindness, but is still fun to try!

~*~ Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia an American musician best known for his work with the band the Grateful Dead

~*~ When the Energizer Bunny is finally arrested, he'll be charged with battery.

~*~ Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it is stupid.

~*~ Excuses are like arm pits, everyone has 'em and they all stink.

~*~ The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

~*~ Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

~*~ Where there is a will, there are relatives.

~*~ A penny saved is a Jewish nightmare.

~*~ Support the right to bear arms, wear short sleeves.

~*~ It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

~*~ If you find the perfect woman and marry, start working on plan B.

~*~ What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

~*~ There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

~*~ There are always three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.

~*~ Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

~*~ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." - George W. Bush, Jr. former President of United States of America

~*~ Animal testing is a terrible idea; they just get nervous and give the wrong answers.

~*~ The road to success is always under construction.

~*~ Employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some you stand behind and kick them in the ass. The key to management is knowing which mules are which.

~*~ Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to talk to himself.

~*~ If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

~*~ "Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams, comedian

~*~ "I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them." - George W. Bush, Jr. former President of United States of America

~*~ Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

~*~ Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

~*~ How many roads must a man walk down, before he realizes he's lost?

~*~ The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

~*~ When your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

~*~ "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams, author of Hitch Hicker's Guide 5 book trilogy

~*~ Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

~*~ You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson American cartoon icon

~*~ Women age like fine wine and gets better with age, so why don't we lock them in the cellar?

~*~ Women are like phones. They love to be held, talked too, and if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

~*~ The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

~*~ When I die, I want to go as peaceful as my Grandfather, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in the car.

~*~ "Women know they can't own it, but can always find it; Men know what the own, but can't find it." - Chronic

~*~ There are two ways to tell if you masterbate too much: One his that hair will begin to grow on the palms of your hands, the second is you'll look for it!

~*~ He who laughs last didn't get it.




~Rogue

[๖ReS]

~*~ Nothing is illegal, until you get caught!

~*~ Everything is fun and games, until someone loses an eye... then it is friggin' hilarious!

~*~ A blind man pissing in the wind will always have it come back to him in the end.

~*~ Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it.

~*~ The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

~*~ It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but equally true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

~*~ Women are know it alls, men know all about women

~*~ Never take life seriously, nobody gets out of it alive.

~*~ You laugh because I'm different... I laugh cause I just farted!

~*~ Masterbating does not lead to blindness, but is still fun to try!

~*~ Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia an American musician best known for his work with the band the Grateful Dead

~*~ When the Energizer Bunny is finally arrested, he'll be charged with battery.

~*~ Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it is stupid.

~*~ Excuses are like arm pits, everyone has 'em and they all stink.

~*~ The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

~*~ Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

~*~ Where there is a will, there are relatives.

~*~ A penny saved is a Jewish nightmare.

~*~ Support the right to bear arms, wear short sleeves.

~*~ It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

~*~ If you find the perfect woman and marry, start working on plan B.

~*~ What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

~*~ There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

~*~ There are always three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.

~*~ Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

~*~ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." - George W. Bush, Jr. former President of United States of America

~*~ Animal testing is a terrible idea; they just get nervous and give the wrong answers.

~*~ The road to success is always under construction.

~*~ Employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some you stand behind and kick them in the ass. The key to management is knowing which mules are which.

~*~ Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to talk to himself.

~*~ If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

~*~ "Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams, comedian

~*~ "I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them." - George W. Bush, Jr. former President of United States of America

~*~ Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

~*~ Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

~*~ How many roads must a man walk down, before he realizes he's lost?

~*~ The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

~*~ When your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

~*~ "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams, author of Hitch Hicker's Guide 5 book trilogy

~*~ Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

~*~ You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson American cartoon icon

~*~ Women age like fine wine and gets better with age, so why don't we lock them in the cellar?

~*~ Women are like phones. They love to be held, talked too, and if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

~*~ The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

~*~ When I die, I want to go as peaceful as my Grandfather, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in the car.

~*~ "Women know they can't own it, but can always find it; Men know what the own, but can't find it." - Chronic

~*~ There are two ways to tell if you masterbate too much: One his that hair will begin to grow on the palms of your hands, the second is you'll look for it!

~*~ He who laughs last didn't get it.




~Rogue

copypaste ftw.