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Thread: Fucking pandas.

  1. 11-14-2011 07:57 AM #1
    Penis シ's Avatar
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    Default Fucking pandas.

    Fuck pandas man.

    Seriously! They're all "oh i'm a cuddly and cute panda and I'm endangered". HOMIE, it's your own goddamn fault you're endangered. Evolution doesn't even like you.

    Where do panda's live? Rhetorical. They live in the fucking jungle. What colors are pandas? Rhetorical. They're fucking black and white. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO SNEAK UP ON ANYTHING WHEN YOU'RE FUCKING BLACK AND WHITE?! They can't.

    So instead, pandas fucking sit around and eat bamboo with their omnivorous teeth because it's the only goddamn thing they can sneak up on. There is no god damn nutritional value to bamboo. They eat it because apparently the couldn't sneak up on a fucking tomato or something. So now they have to eat up to FORTY FUCKING POUNDS of bamboo a day. If I had to eat 40 fucking pounds of food to survive, I'd stop and think "fuck man, maybe I should eat something else."

    Then when they have little panda fucking babies, they can't make milk because milk wont come from bamboo. So instead, the fucking baby pandas have to eat bamboo too.... WITHOUT TEETH for the goddamn first 14 weeks.

    Now you have pandas losing their front teeth like fucking hillbillies or something and feeding their dumbass panda babies bamboo when they don't even have goddamn teeth yet.

    Fuck that. If anyone ever says "save the pandas"; fuck the pandas. I'm not giving any goddamn foundation $5 to buy more fucking bamboo with. If you wanna save the stupid fucking pandas, find a brush and paint those assholes green. Let them go hunt some real goddamn food.
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  2. 11-14-2011 08:02 AM #2
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    so you hate white AND black things, you must be racist.

    YOU AND YOUR FUCKING GREEN SUPREMACY!
    your're the problem with the world today. lol wut
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  3. 11-14-2011 08:05 AM #3
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    that was some of the funniest shit Ive read in a long time...

    Maynard - The WCS Guy
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  4. 11-14-2011 08:08 AM #4
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    That's actually the closer for my most recent stand-up.
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    your helmet is being shipped.
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  5. 11-14-2011 08:16 AM #5
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    ëM┼Γö ⌊ibis.a⌉ ♑
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  6. 11-14-2011 11:55 AM #6
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    funniest thing since maynard's conversation with hellraiser.

    btw i just found this icon hilarious.

    Through the darkness of futures past,
    The magician longs to see
    One chants out between two worlds:
    Fire, walk with me.
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  7. 11-14-2011 12:01 PM #7
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    I love you, you love me-

    -I'm going to go ahead and stop you there. You're a man in a big purple dinosaur outfit that has nothing better to do than hang out at a school all day. Shouldn't you be in some.... erm directory or something? You know, that warns people of your presence? I don't know, AND I just found out you're black.... and well, this is kind of Texas in the 90's.... I mean, you can say you love me, but don't assume things, man.
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  8. 11-14-2011 03:23 PM #8
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    Hey! Don't hate on Pandas!

    Without pandas, there wouldn't be any Panda burgers and they are delicious!

    http://foodbeast.com/content/2009/07...-panda-burger/
    "Intolerance and superstition has always been the domain of the more stupid amongst the common folk and, I conjecture, will never be uprooted, for they are as eternal as stupidity itself. There, where mountains tower today, one day there will be seas; there where today seas surge, will one day be deserts. But stupidity will remain stupidity."
    -
    “You surround the dead with veneration and memory, you dream of immortality, and in your myths and legends there’s always someone being resurrected, conquering death. But were your esteemed late great-grandfather really to suddenly rise from the grave and order a beer, panic would ensue.”
    -
    “A coward dies a hundred times. A brave man dies but once. But Dame Fortune favours the brave and holds the coward in contempt.'


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  9. 11-14-2011 03:25 PM #9
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    That does not have ANY panda or bamboo in it. Therefore, it is not a true Panda burger.


    4) Use admin privileges sparingly and appropriately.

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  10. 11-14-2011 03:32 PM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sin View Post
    That does not have ANY panda or bamboo in it.
    My version of it does
    "Intolerance and superstition has always been the domain of the more stupid amongst the common folk and, I conjecture, will never be uprooted, for they are as eternal as stupidity itself. There, where mountains tower today, one day there will be seas; there where today seas surge, will one day be deserts. But stupidity will remain stupidity."
    -
    “You surround the dead with veneration and memory, you dream of immortality, and in your myths and legends there’s always someone being resurrected, conquering death. But were your esteemed late great-grandfather really to suddenly rise from the grave and order a beer, panic would ensue.”
    -
    “A coward dies a hundred times. A brave man dies but once. But Dame Fortune favours the brave and holds the coward in contempt.'


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