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Thread: Sex (Urban Dictionary Style)

  1. Default Sex (Urban Dictionary Style)

    A painful activity in which a man, using the stiffest and pointiest part of his pelvic region, repeatedly stabs a female in her crotch until he feels satisfied. Can also take place between two men, in which one male stabs the other in the bum. Lesbian "sex" may be fun and all, but it aint real sex unless there is some sort of stabbling going on, perhaps with a cleverly shaped hand or steel dildo.
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    sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you dont multiply!
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    What kind of moron are you that you look up sex in the urban dictionary? (LMFAO at this one)

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    This meaning varies for which side of the sex you are on.

    Woman: To make sweet passionate love to your soul mate. Elevating each other's bodily experiences to a new level.

    Man: What to do when your not watching sports.
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    the spaceship goes into the port which then goes up and down and white fluid is released from the ship. a latex sheild is sometimes used when a ship is being attacked.
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    The most commonly looked up word in the dictionary for males between the age of 11 to 19. Second being Penis and third Vigina.
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    Something that nice guys/geeks like me will never experience. This due to the fact that typical human females go for the bigger, dumber alpha male.

    Guy: “What’s wrong Melissa, why are you crying?

    Girl: “My boyfriend played me for some hoe!”

    Guy: “aww, that’s sad…is there anything I can do to help?”

    Girl: “No thanks, I took care of that last night when I had make up sex with some other jock”

    Guy: “oh…ok…”

    Girl: “Thanks so much for trying, you’re such a NICE GUY Salem!”

    Guy: “Well, if you need me, I’ll be in my room, crying while masturbating to pictures of you from middle school…”

    *goes home and masturbates to pictures of Mel from middle school*
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    every man's goal in life

    If you dont have sex before you die your life has been a waste
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    Only exercise most Americans get anymore

    Sex: Great way to have fun and lose weight at the same time
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    Sex Is A Sensation Caused By Temptation Where A Guy Sticks His Location Into A Gurls Destination To Increase The Population For The Next Generation Do You Get My Explination Or Do You Need A Demonstration?
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    I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

    Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

    An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

    Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

    Sex is like card games; if ur not patient u should have a good hand

    Intellectuals read in bed, others have sex
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    About... 95% percent of the guys in your school are thinking about constantly....
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    well remember when you saw your mom and dad wrestling on their honeymoon... well yeah thats it

    scared child 1:SEX!They told me they were wrestling... *sob*
    scared child 2:Its okay man, it's all over now
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    1. (i) I like it when a girl puts on heels and I have sex with her feet.

    (ii) I just put seran wrap inside my car's exhaust pipe and I am humping it. I am having sex with my car.

    (iii) I caught a dolphin and I am fucking her hole. I am having sex with a dolphin.

    (iv) The shephard enjoys having sex with his animals by sneaking up on them at night.

    (v) My dog humps the hole in the tree trunk. It likes having sex with the tree.

    (vi) I jerk off three times a day. Having sex with myself makes me tired.

    (vii) I talk to girls in chatrooms and have virtual sex with them. I am not actually shoving my cock up their ass, but in my mind I am virtually doing it.

    (viii) Bill Clinton put his cock in Monica Lewinsky's mouth. He had oral sex with Monica Lewinsky.

    2. I had a kid shove a broom up my ass. Broom sex is awesome.

    3. (i) I am rubbing my clit against the rough sofa. I'm having sex with the sofa.

    (ii) I am rubbing my pussy against my roomate's clit. We're having lesbian sex.

    (iii) Bubba just shoved a cigar up my vagina. He is fucking me with a cigar.
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    OK im done, i wonder how long this post is going to be when i hit the post button. I know i have to much time on my hands, but a lot of this shit made me Laught Out Loud.

  2. Default

    llmfao you must have been bored mbp...

  3. #3

    Default heres another one


    skeet is used famously by the rapper "lil john" but the ture meaning of skeet is Jizz other wise known as semen, sperm, or cum. so when "lil john" or other famous rappers, or "wangsters" use the word "skeet skeet skeet" they are then imply that they are ejaculating on a womans face in satifaction.

  4. Default

    Dude i have been suspended forever, i have NOTHING TO DO.

  5. Default

    LOL i youtube'd Skeet.

    Found this,

  6. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ManBearPig <ibis> View Post
    LOL i youtube'd Skeet.

    Found this,
    thats some good shit right there

  7. #7


    wow that was odd lol. u do have a lot of time on ur hands dont u?

  8. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dublin View Post
    wow that was odd lol. u do have a lot of time on ur hands dont u?
    Well not only am i out of school, but i am also grounded until i go back. So im going to be chilling inside all day and watching the ninja warrior marathon.

  9. #9


    ninja warrior kicks ass and wtf do u have to do to get grounded for the whole summer?

  10. Default

    take a pic of a nice ass from what i hear

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