Mafia Game: The Donner Party

[Trigger Unhappy]

I was so fucking close.

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GG All

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Hoshiro did you call me blade?

[Nemesis]

Phil

Welcome, Sean Flynn, you are a Vanilla Townie. You were a Photojournalist during the Vietnam War, until you got your dumbass captured by Koreans or some shit. How the fuck do allow that anyways? They’re the short, slanty-eyed ones who eat a fuck-cup of rice a day, they basically have the strength of children. Well done on that one, big boy. Everyone assumed they fed you to tigers or some shit but I guess not, and now your cunt-ass is here. Ready, steady, GO!
Abilities:

Your weapon is your vote, you have no night actions.

Win condition:

You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive.


Assassin

Welcome, Harold Holt, you are a Vanilla Townie. Listen, I’m gonna be blunt, there’s a real good chance you got fucked by a kangaroo, ok? Maybe even a Manatee or some shit. Who the fuck goes swimming in Victoria anyways? Stupid Fuck. Everyone thinks you got eaten by a Shark, or some Australian Version of a shark, which I assume is worse than regular sharks since it’s fucking Australia and everything tries to crawl in your dickhole and poison the shit out of you. So good luck with that and everything…

Abilities:
Your weapon is your vote, you have no night actions.

Win condition:
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive.


Minj

Welcome, Azaria Chamberlain, you are a Vanilla Townie. Do you know who Azaria Chamberlain is? No? That’s because no one does. No, she’s not one of Wilt’s 900 welfare babies either, you stupid twat. Azaria Chamberlain is the reason for the saying, “A Dingo ate my baby!” That’s right, your contribution to the world is getting eaten by a faggot-looking dog, well done. I mean, how much did your parents fucking hate you to let you get carried off by a fucking retarded Upside-Down dog? The Answer: A Fucking Lot. So now you’re still a fucking cunt but all grown up and shit. Good luck with that…

Abilities:
Your weapon is your vote, you have no night actions.

Win condition:
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive.


Sin

Welcome, Amelia Earhart , you are a Vanilla Townie. So basically you proved to the world that women are fucking terrible at everything they do except getting pregnant and being annoying twats. And you know what, most of them die during childbirth so they’re not even really good at that, either, just the twat thing. So as you were flying over one of the oceans, (the ones you can’t tell apart because you’re a fucking cunt. It was probably Lake Michigan or something, retard) you realized you were indeed operating a machine while being a woman and promptly crashed, firmly setting Women’s Rights back to where they belong; the kitchen. Good job, Doll.

Abilities:
Your weapon is your vote, you have no night actions.

Win condition:
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive.


Zambi

Welcome, Jimmy Hoffa , you are a Vanilla Townie. So chances are I’ve literally driven over your dumbass face at some point. You know whose fault all this is? Women. If they didn’t give those stupid cunts the right to vote Prohibition never would have happened. No Prohibition means no Organized Crime, which then means your stupid ass doesn’t getting added to the foundation of some shitty strip mall. You can thank the cunts later.

Abilities:
Your weapon is your vote, you have no night actions.

Win condition:
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive.

IF YOU NEED HELP MSG ME


Hoshiro

Welcome, Charles Lindbergh Jr. , you are a Vanilla Townie. I think your parents flushed you down the toilet or some shit, which is strange, because you’re not even black. It really goes to show what a fucking cunt you were though, I mean you were what, 8 months old and they were already trying to murder your squishy ass? They should have just put you in a drier for an hour like normal parents trying to murder they’re retarded children. So I assume you were raised by alligators or some shit and now you’re here.

Abilities:
Your weapon is your vote, you have no night actions.

Win condition:
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive.


Pass

Welcome, Helen Keller. You are a Cannibal Mafia Goon, along with your partner, Trigger Unhappy . So after being locked in the attic, hiding from the Nazis, food grew scarce, and you developed a taste for broiled Jew. If you add a little onion soup mix and garlic, you can’t really taste how cheap the meat is. You’ve even been known to sprinkle a little of your own “seasoning” you got from that time they let you tour Auschwitz. Anyways, eat people and that shit, yadda yadda, try not to be totally fucking terrible.

Abilities:
• Factional communication: At any time after the game starts, you may talk with your partner
• Cannibal nightkill: Each night phase, one of you or your partner may perform the factional nightkill. You will receive back either a PM indicating that the target did not die, or a PM containing their role/alignment information, and if they were a Cannibal, the role/alignment of all bodies they possessed when they were killed.
• The role/alignment of your night-kill targets is not shared with the town

Win condition:
• You win when all other killers are dead and you control 50% of the town or nothing can prevent this from occurring.


Trigger

Welcome, Anne Frank . You are a Cannibal Mafia Goon, along with your partner, Passarelli . So being Deaf, Blind and Fucking Retarded no one can blame you for not knowing the difference between Bacon and Bob. Well I can, I guess. You stupid fucking retard. Can you say water now? Ya, that’s real fucking useful. Let’s see what you can say when I hold your head under it. Fuck you Twatwaffle.

Abilities:
Factional communication: At any time in the game, you may talk with your partner
Cannibal nightkill: Each night phase, one of you or your partner may perform the factional nightkill. You will receive back either a PM indicating that the target did not die, or a PM containing their role/alignment information, and if they were a Cannibal, the role/alignment of all bodies they possessed when they were killed.
The role/alignment of your night-kill targets is not shared with the town

Win condition:
You win when all other killers are dead and you control 50% of the town or nothing can prevent this from occurring.


Blade

Welcome, Adam Richman. You are a Cannibal Serial Killer. You probably have no idea who Adam Richman is because you’re a stupid fucking Korean. You probably like Anime too…fucking faggot. Anyways, Adam Richman is from Man vs. Food and was at one time skinny but now looks more like you except without being a dirty fucking Asian. He’s eaten everything in the fucking word except for one thing: Human-fuck-being. Well now it’s time to cross that off the list and eat more than just the cocks.

Abilities:
Cannibal nightkill: Each night phase, you may perform your nightkill. You will receive back either a PM indicating that the target did not die, or a PM containing their role/alignment information, and if they were a Cannibal, the role/alignment of all bodies they possessed when they were killed.
The role/alignment of your night-kill targets is not shared with the town
One-shot Night-kill Immunity: The first night you are targeted for a night-kill (even if you're targetted more than once), you will not die. You are not notified that this has occurred.
One-shot Roleblocker Immunity: The first night you are targeted by the Roleblocker, the roleblock on you will fail. You are not notified that this has occurred.

Win condition:
You win when you are the last player alive or nothing can prevent this from occurring.


Mikey

Welcome, Nando Parrado. You are a Town Cannibal Vigilante. I know you have no idea who Nando Parrado is because you’re illiterate, you retard. Basically you were the Captian of some Mexican soccer team who, instead of playing soccer, crashed into a fucking mountain. So they sat there like Mexicans for two months, freezing and starving to death, before they just started eating the bodies of everyone else. I’m pretty sure they weren’t dead bodies, and just soccer players taking a dive…for a month…in the cold. Ok they were dead bodies. Anyways you’re a Mexican who eats stupid shit. You know I probably should have given this role to Cyber…

Abilities:
Cannibal nightkill: Each night phase, you may perform your nightkill. You will receive back either a PM indicating that the target did not die, or a PM containing their role/alignment information, and if they were a Cannibal, the role/alignment of all bodies they possessed when they were killed.
The role/alignment of your night-kill targets is not shared with the town

Win condition:
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive.


Scribble

Welcome, Cyber’s Mother, you are a Town Roleblocker. And by “Roleblocker” we all know I mean “Filthy Fucking Slut” as is the Mexican way. Everyone knows Cyber has no idea who his father is but after extensive research it’s been narrowed down to Tony Danza, Cee Lo Green, or the 1994 Boston Bruins.

Abilities:
Each night you may choose to have drunken Mexican sex with a player, which will prevent them from using an action.

Win condition:
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive. All the cock you get is just a bonus.


Cyber

Welcome, Cpt. Kareem Abdul Jabbar, you are a Town Dietician. That’s right, a black guy as the cop, how’s that for a fucking twist you taco stuffer. I don’t actually know if Kareem Abdul Jabbar is a real pilot but he played one in a movie, which is good enough for me. Why I care that he’s a pilot is a mysterious mystery. Let’s see you deduce that one faggot. Here’s another riddle for you; what’s fucking lazy and cuts my grass? Hint: It’s your fucking family.

Abilities:
Each night phase, you may investigate one player by PM'ing the mod. You will receive results in the form of Cannibal, Not Cannibal or No Result.

Win condition:
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated and there is at least one town-aligned player alive.

[Sin]

LOL! That post made this fucking thread worth it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHahA!

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Everyone knows Cyber has no idea who his father is but after extensive research it’s been narrowed down to Tony Danza, Cee Lo Green, or the 1994 Boston Bruins.

HAHAHAHAHA!

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Tsin, trigg was obviously the last maf... dumbo. Ibis won its first town game, gj! Party time.

And STFU Faggot you almost cost town the win with that Vig, you fucko.

[Trigger Unhappy]

Mixed up the description of Anne Frank and Helen Keller.

[Nemesis]

Mixed up the description of Anne Frank and Helen Keller.

No I didn't.

[Trigger Unhappy]

so who is MVP this game.. because that was the most fucked up ending to the game i could have imagined.

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Mikey killed the most town... is he Mafia MVP?

[Nemesis]

Sin probably. Was able to lead as a VT through a retarded cop and a Vig who took out more townies than the mafia.

[DJ_MikeyRevile]

to be fair, town would have been worse off had i not killed hosh. 4-way resulted in the dread lock voting as we saw. I dont doubt for a second hosh would have hammered wrong and lost it for town.

pssh, sin, dont say i almost lost it for town.. mr. vote phil 2015.

Killing scribbs kinda worked in our favor. I had a trump if anyone decided to claim RB or hint at hit via soft claim. Besides, town RB'ers are a liability when they dont know who the other town power roles are.

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also, in Day 2 i said that mafia had hit sk. Was that true or did they NK like a bunch of douche figs?

[hoshiro-]

I was so fucking close.

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GG All

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Hoshiro did you call me blade?

blade trig, you're all the same to me

[I'm a zambi]

gg, wp

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... jk