my only two shitty drunk escapades:

got drunk underage in high school with few people on closed-for-construction, gated beach in south florida. got busted by an off duty cop who called in a duty cop and a female that was with a friend of mine ran off and disappeared for an entire month. he got called out for trespassing off duty and i just got banned from all beaches in florida instead of being arrested.

drank a full 22oz cup of cheap ass admiral nelson's, underage, blacked out in a pool, puked on myself in a chair, when they tried to drag me to grass to spray the vomit off of me i resisted and long story short the state senator's daughter had a fractured supraorbital foramen. luckily it happened on his property while he was upstairs and no police were involved.