in all seriousness though, spam is delicious. anyone who disagrees is either a prude, or simply listening to the masses. most people who "hate" spam do so because everybody hates spam. but you make it right, it's fucking fantastic.
slice it up, heat some oim/margarine in a saucepan, add chopped onions, and some shaved garlic, and black pepper, sautee onions and garlic until caramalized and browned, add slices of spam, fry until crispy on outside, then set aside onions/spam, place sliced tomatoes in remaining oil, fry each side until they're cooked through, then place one slice of tomato on a piece of toast, put spam/onions on, and sprinkle black pepper over it all.
even better is to put the tomato/onion/spam on top of eggy in a basket.