Oh Carm. :P

[*youtube]insert video ID only [*/youtube]

Remove the asterisks and put in the video ID only. For your first video below, N_GPxe91hWE is the video ID. Like-a so:

Something went wrong. Please make sure you added the video correctly. Click here to see how YouTube videos should be embedded. There could also be a technical issue that's not your fault. Click here to view the video on YouTube's site. If this link doesn't work, you did something wrong.

Also, Assassin, you mean boy. :P